Thursday, 13 October 2011

Are You Saying It Enough?


There are many things most of us probably don’t say enough. I love you. Thank you. I miss you. The one I want to talk about is gratitude.

It’s nice to know you’re appreciated. And it feels pretty good to tell someone else you appreciate them. Wait - maybe I just think that because I do so much of it while I’m inebriated? On the other hand, that in itself says something about how and when we tell people they are important to us.

It’s true our friends and family probably know we appreciate them, but how long can that probably hold up in the face of no thanks? Treat your friends and families like flowers and water them as often as they need. Too long without water and the friendship might suffer as bad as that rose bush. Thanking people is one of the ways we reinforce to people that we do care. If someone goes out of their way to show gratitude, you know they’re probably not just here for what you can give them. In a way, genuine gratitude is saying ‘I’d do it for you, too.’

It can be nice to thank people with gifts, although this can get expensive, especially if you have a lot of people to thank! Sometimes, though, it’s enough just to say it. So I’d like to take this opportunity to thank some of the people in my life, both online and offline. Here’s a few of the reasons why I’m thankful to them.

My husband, Matt

The reasons I am thankful to you are many, but recently I had a competition deadline to meet for my manuscript. You were nice enough to give me the time to get it finished, including taking our daughter out to give me peace and quiet to focus. You also turned a blind eye to the pile of dirty dishes I left in the sink owing to a lack of time to clean them because – you guessed it – I was working on my manuscript. I noticed when I came home today that you’d washed them for me.

Nikki

You’re my oldest friend. We have now known each other for 87% of our lives! You totally know I went and calculated that just for this – and you’re not surprised. You get me (and I guess that works both ways). Even after months of not seeing each other, we can pick up exactly where we left off without any awkwardness. Recently I was reminded how important it is to hold on to a friendship like that.

Kylie

I’m not sure how to explain this one. You’re me! With bigger cowboy boots and more attitude. We read the same books, listen to the same music, and suffer through our lack of gallbladders together – well, OK, we suffer 20 minutes apart, but close enough. If you’re like me, and I’m like @safireblade, we might be triplets! This actually is a friendship where we don’t get all gushy about how we feel, because that would be… weird. But you know you’re important to me. And in case you don’t, I’m telling you (but you do, I know you do).

Erin

Oh so complicated… You married my cousin and then we didn’t talk for years. Pride is a sin I admit to being guilty of. Thanks for being proud of me for being brave enough to take the first step to reconciliation (even if, once again, I was inebriated). Thanks for being a shoulder to cry on. Thanks for going places with me (even if it did mean a 1 hour stay in a lift). Thanks for taking emergency phone calls at strange hours. Just… thanks. Sometimes you don’t appreciate someone until they’re gone. I’m lucky it wasn’t gone for good. 

Irene

How long are you going to stay in Ireland?? Come home already. Emergency lunch with you ‘same time, same place’ got me through some of my worst divorce days. I miss you.

Nicole

You are possibly the most under-appreciated of my friends and I apologise for that. We don’t always see eye to eye, but I know you’ve got my back. Sometimes you’ve gotten the dirtier chores in my life, like helping set up for parties, staying after parties to clean up (wait, you take the leftovers too!) and taking me out for a much-needed drink at bizarre hours without much notice. But I know you’re there for me and I hope you know it’s reciprocal. Thank you.

Kim

The newest addition to my friends. It’s rare for me to meet someone new that I get along with, but you fit the bill! I think you already know my deepest, darkest secrets. I know I can count on you.

The #Stabbylove gang

You know who you are. All I need to say is ‘synopsis’. You know what I mean. Special thanks to @Flickimp for sharing an example of a good synopsis and @sirra_girl for patiently helping me through multiple drafts from sucknopsis to something vaguely resembling a synopsis. Oh, and for giving me a very calm talking to when I started to panic and being my stabby twin. It’s nice to know there are other people who think like me.


Thanks for giving me the verbal equivalent of a slap across the face (or possibly a double shot of vodka) when I started going into meltdown about writing a synopsis. Thanks also for sharing your example, it really helped me to get my brain in gear and see where I was going.


There’s a reasonable chance you already know this, but I was tickled pink by your post Dam Dragon. Every writer hopes that they touch the reader or have some effect or influence. You gave me a real high! Oh yeah, and you help me keep my sanity.

 
You gave me a rare insight to myself on your blog. It’s always a strange experience to see yourself through someone else’s eyes, but in this case it was strangely good. I always just think of myself as ‘plain old me’. I’m not remarkable, I just do what has to be done. So it was a bit of a buzz to see that from a different perspective. I was flattered and deeply honoured by your comments.


For CIA stuff.  I could tell everyone, but then we’d have to kill them. Oh, and for possibly being my long lost twin. Or am I up to triplets now? Uh, quads? I’m losing track. Anyway, we relate, and I love that. Right down to fantasy books and the country music. Wanna go to Nashville? We can take Kylie. Nicole might want to come too.

After reading all of this, you possibly think I am a hopeless drunk. Really, I’m not. I drink rarely, and get drunk less, but I’m just a sappy drunk so I cram in lots of emotional stuff when I do. 

Anyway, think about it. Are you saying it enough?

6 comments:

Kelly Gamble said...

Thank you, Ciara. Few people who know me well would believe I am actually helping someone keep their sanity, but we're in this (or that) together. :) As for the Dam Dragon, it was a wonderful experience and reminded me to take off my blinders. Good writing is inspirational, and I thank you for giving me the opportunity to read your work.

John Paul McKinney said...

Gratitude - a very important virtue. Thank you.

Imran Siddiq Writer said...

Why thank you so much for the mention Ciara.
And you are good one too for believing and working hard on what you love.

XYXYXY XYXYXY said...

We all are bombarded with our work, our writing, our lives everyday that things like this go unnoticed. In reality, it only takes a few minutes to take the time to say what's really needed. This is a good reminder to us all that somethings do have to be said even if it's understood without any words or actions.

I really enjoyed and appreciate this post. I feel the same about our stabby gang and others who have encouraged me and supported me. Yes, you are my twin. Most people turn their heads when I say that, but we know that we are. At so many levels... I'm so glad to have found you. You're welcome, and I thank you, too.

Amberr Meadows said...

I tend to become more open about emotion when I'm a bit squiffy. I think it's fantastic you've decided to sit down and thank some folks just for the sake of it. My respect for you, while great before, has increased exponentially--because you're being honest, and that's endearing.

I know most of the folks on this list and am grateful to them, too. :-)

Amberr Meadows said...

I tend to become more open about emotion when I'm a bit squiffy. I think it's fantastic you've decided to sit down and thank some folks just for the sake of it. My respect for you, while great before, has increased exponentially--because you're being honest, and that's endearing.

I know most of the folks on this list and am grateful to them, too. :-)

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